Mark Edgar Stephens is a Hypnotherapist specializing in Body Language and Behavior Modification. I had read his book Who Are You Choosing To Be? right before my divorce. I invited Mark, an artist in his own right, to be part of this project because I thought it would be interesting to have someone who offers Creative Artist Consultations, Communication Techniques, and Dating & Relationship Strategies, look at my dissolution agreement and tell me what he thought.
Mark’s approach to all things is to get right to the heart of the matter. This is the way he approached this project as well. For STATE OF THE UNION, Mark handed me a legal envelope that contained the following:
of a Relationship
I love you and want to marry you. Do you want to marry me? Mark one yes____ no____
If things don’t work out…will you sign the attached 28 page document? Mark one yes____no____
In addition to these “Love Notes”, he had also taken the agreement and replaced all of the pages except for the first, and last page, with the two pages below:
The childishness of the contents at first shocked me, but then the simplicity brought me to an awareness that I had lost. It was all very simple. We had liked each other. We had taken the next customary step. It didn’t work out the way we had hoped. It was the “customary step” part that had gotten us in trouble.
Mark had given me an idea in his third Love Note. “If things don’t work out…will you sign the attached 28 page document?” To me, this looked at the agreement as a Prenuptial Agreement. An agreement that I always felt was a horrible way to begin a marriage. However, maybe it was my attitude that was childish. Could the Prenup be the most feminist thing a woman could do when entering into a marriage agreement?